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My Community Admin is Terrible at Emotional Intelligence. What should I do?

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The realm of online communities can be a fascinating space for connection and engagement, but it's not without its challenges. One such challenge arises when a community administrator lacks emotional intelligence. While this can be frustrating, it's essential to approach the situation constructively and collaboratively. In this article, we will explore strategies, informed by principles from psychology, sociology, and emotional intelligence, to address and resolve this issue effectively.


Before taking any action, it's vital to engage in self-reflection. Assess the situation objectively and consider how the administrator's behavior is impacting the community. Ensure your concerns are grounded in valid observations and not driven by personal biases or differences. Self-reflection sets the stage for a constructive approach to the issue.

Open Communication:

Approaching the community administrator directly is a crucial step. However, it's essential to initiate this conversation in a non-confrontational manner. Express your concerns openly, emphasizing how certain behaviors have affected community members. Use "I" statements to convey your observations, such as "I have noticed that some community members tend to feel uncomfortable when certain things happen within the community, and I would like to discuss this with you." Open communication establishes a platform for understanding and change.

Provide Examples:

Concrete examples of incidents that have impacted the community are powerful tools during your conversation with the administrator. These examples help illustrate the real-world consequences of their actions and provide context for improvement. By sharing specific incidents, you facilitate a deeper understanding of how their behavior has negatively affected the community and how similar situations can be avoided in the future.

Empathetic Approach:

Recognize that the administrator may not be fully aware of the impact of their behavior on the community or the concept of emotional intelligence. Approach the situation with empathy, striving to understand their perspective without making hasty assumptions or judgments. By fostering an empathetic environment, you create room for a more receptive dialogue.

Suggest Solutions:

Identifying the issue is a crucial step, but it's equally important to offer solutions. Merely pointing out the problem may not suffice in helping the administrator avoid repeating the same mistakes. Suggest resources, such as books and articles, that can aid in their understanding of emotional intelligence. Remind them that developing emotional intelligence is a gradual process that requires time and patience.


Dealing with an administrator lacking emotional intelligence can be a challenging task within an online community. However, by following these constructive steps - grounded in principles of emotional intelligence and effective communication - you can work towards a resolution that benefits both the administrator and the community as a whole. Remember that fostering emotional intelligence is an ongoing journey, and your support and guidance can make a significant difference in creating a more harmonious online environment.

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